Asperger's · cooking · Daily life · judaism

Breaking matzah & breaking routines

I’ve never been much of a cook. I need clear instructions for cooking, and recipes often tend to confuse me. The terminology for example, if I’m told to finely slice or chop something, I get stuck with the word ‘finely’. Or when the recipe suddenly tells me to ‘add the remaining butter’ and I’ve already used all of it because the recipe didn’t say you were supposed to save some for later. It can be a pain.

Last weekend I put some effort into cooking for Passover. This was my second time celebrating Passover as part of my Jewish learning, and I was quite happy with what I achieved. It wasn’t perfect, and I wish I had experienced a real Seder meal with many people, but part of the journey is learning in small steps.

I made a vegetarian version of matzo ball soup:

And for dessert I had dark chocolate matzah cracker cake:

I feel like Judaism and being an aspie are a good fit in many ways. I always want to find out the reasons and whys behind things, and I get caught in small details. On the other hand, I like to question. One thing that draws me to Judaism is that it’s okay to question. Rather than telling you ‘this is what you need to do and believe in’, rabbis will expect you to ask questions and engage in discussions. I feel like this is one of the ways Judaism differs from other religions, Christianity in particular.

It’s all about learning. Yesterday I picked up this Finnish-Hebrew language study book from the post. I love the feeling of being able to read words written with a different alphabet (and from right to left instead of left to right)! I don’t know if I will be fluent in Hebrew in this lifetime, but even small progress feels great.

Not looking forward to Monday, because work has been a bit hectic lately, but really looking forward to the next month. First there’s the First of May party, and for the following weekend I have booked a trip to Salou, Spain to celebrate my birthday with two of my friends. And then there’s a week’s holiday a the end of the month with our annual trip to Eastern Finland. Can’t wait!

I am always feeling better when I have something to look forward to, otherwise my anxieties start building up and I get stuck repeating the same routines too much. It’s a strange feature in me: new things and changes scare me, but I always crave for them. I love the comfort of routines and nothing changing, but in the long run, they make me miserable. Just like changing your diet for one week of the year: the sudden change can cause anxiety, but it’s good to break out of your usual routine and having to be more considerate of what you eat.

I saw this motivational quote at my gym, but it applies to many other things in life too.

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