(Barely) Hanging on

I wrote this tonight while feeling extremely depressed and hopeless. I've had a rough time lately, haven't posted anything here for ages and don't know if I'm going to anywhere in the near future. I'm just trying to survive life and not doing a great job at it at the moment. Recognizing the extreme changes…

Surviving work and life

Last month I got a regular position at the library, and although I was feeling quite nervous about it, I was still quite confident that I would be comfortable working there as I had done casual shifts there for the whole summer. Unfortunately it has been quite difficult for me as I started in my…

Autumn blues

Can't believe summer is almost over. The weather is supposed to be quite nice this weekend so there is still some time to enjoy the sun, but the days are already getting shorter and I can feel the shiver of the autumn wind.. it's different from the summer wind. In some ways the summer has…

CBD oil experiment, day 1

I got my CBD oil order today (it was actually delivered on Friday, but as it was left with the neighbors I only got the parcel today 😳) and have tried the oil for the first time. I had quite a crappy day today: I got up early to leave to a Tisha B'av service…

CBD oil for anxiety?

I have been thinking of trying CBD oil to treat my anxiety for a while now, and finally ordered some from Holland & Barrett today. They have a deal when you order two, you get the other one for half the price, so I decided to buy one with 2.75% and one with 5% CBD.…

Small moments to be proud of

It has been a struggle for me lately, and I have to remind myself of all the things I have managed to cope with during the past few weeks despite of everything. Today was the first whole day in weeks that I didn't feel the need to take additional medication to cope with my anxiety.…

Mindflow from today

The medication I've been taking makes me feel calmer, but I am wondering how bad things would get without it. And sometimes I wonder which is my actual personality, the one whose brain chemistry has been altered by these meds, or the one without? I am sat in front of the cathedral in sunshine, and I…

Asperger’s and Empathy

I know a lot has been written on empathy and the autism spectrum..  And I don't know if I am able to bring anything new to that discussion, but I thought I'd share my thoughts and experience on the matter. Everyone knows the general assumption that people on the spectrum are somehow less empathetic than…

My life with Asperger’s – Fixation and dating

I was reading Cosmopolitan today, and as I was feeling increasingly more hopeless about humanity after reading through articles on what happens at men's stag parties and on how Love Island has increased the number of women seeking beauty treatments and plastic surgery, I turned the page to find an article titled 'My life with…

My overwhelmed brain

This week has been a tough one for me. Actually it all started accumulating a couple of weeks ago when I really started struggling at work - it was all suddenly getting very overwhelming as I was forced to do things I hadn't done before, work with people I hadn't worked with before, and a…